Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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