Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
