Is it because I queefed?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
