i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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