o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
