i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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