I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Randomize
