I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
