just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
