well I can't set my house on fire every night
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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