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Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
