THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
