They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
