i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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