Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
