i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
