please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
