so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
