I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize