Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
