Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize