shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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