i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
