it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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