your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
