I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
dude. I can hear the air.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
