So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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