It's like God shit irony all over that family
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
