farters have to be the big spoon...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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