so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
