votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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