Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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