i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize