just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
