in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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