There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
