I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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