Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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