Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
