I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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