I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
