The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
