yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
