i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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