It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Randomize
