So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
