It's a beautiful day for a hangover
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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