i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
