She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Even my vagina gasped.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize