Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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