Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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