i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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