Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
