I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
