Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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