The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
