i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
