Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You left your phone here
Wait...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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