If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
So much rum. So many feels.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
