arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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