when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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